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User talk:WardenWarnedAndrew
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Profile Picture. page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Violation of these rules will result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out the Article Listing or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page. Do not forget to add any story you create/upload to the Article Listing. If, after 30 minutes from adding a page, you neglect to put that page on the Article Listing, you will receive a 1 day block as stated in the rules. This is not the same as adding it to the User Submissions page. If you upload OC (Original Content; something that you wrote instead of found on the internet), be sure to tag it with the Category:OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page as per the rules. If you mark a page as OC and do not add it to the User Submissions page, you will be warned first then blocked from editing for a day the next time it happens. The OC tag will also be removed. The same thing goes for putting a page on the Submissions and not tagging it as OC. This does not count as adding it to the Article Listing, though. This is an extra step for OC. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- ObliterationoftheSelf (Talk) 02:38, April 15, 2012 Sloshedtrain 18:26, April 15, 2012 (UTC) Sloshedtrain 18:26, April 15, 2012 (UTC) I wonder if I could saw through my own neck... with this comb. 19:26, June 20, 2012 (UTC) MooseJuice (talk) 16:48, July 28, 2012 (UTC) Latest Block Your block is gone. I had it straightened out for you. You did nothing wrong this time around, I was the one who added the article to the listing. The more you care for something is in direct relevance for how much they can hurt you. - LaT (talk) 16:18, July 30, 2012 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted as it wasn't up to our current quality standards. Starting with the smaller issues, dialogue needs to be spaced out so two speakers are never talking in the same paragraph. You additionally carried dialogue over a few paragraphs without correct quotation marks. :"Erika, no one knows your pain.(") :(")No one knows what that harpy has done to you! And no one will stand by your side. But here I am, and there I was earlier when you know you needed me but you refused it. And I'm still here."I...I (Sharing quotations does not work) guess that's true. But I don't even know you." Punctuation issues: apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. "mother(')s morning lash out", " sleeping mother(')s stomach." Punctuation missing from dialogue/sentences: "Hello little girl(,/.)" I said to her.", "Besides, I already know(.)", ""Just.. leave me alone I don't want to talk!", ""Stop showing up(,) you don't know what(')s wrong!", ""You don't need to know me Erika(,) you just need to know I'm here and I'll always be here." Wording issues: "Nothing was more obvious then (that) this little girl was needing help,", "...her heart started racing in anticipation to the "beast" that awaits (awaited) on the other side." The story is told in past tense. Story issues: The story needs a lot of work in the conclusion: ""Good night Mommy..." "Sleep well."" (Two speakers?) Additionally mother/mommy should be consistent in its capitalization. Capitalizing it there, but nowhere else in the story is incorrect. If you are using it as a title/name, it should be capitalized. Finally, I understand that you were alluding that the protagonist was in her head, but you need to elaborate on that more at the end to build an effective story. As it stands, it comes off as: abused girl murders mom. Fleshing the premise out would help the story, but in its current form, it is not up to Quality Standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:26, April 17, 2015 (UTC)